Turning Threats Into Opportunities

It is too simple for me to state that the association industry, along with many others, is deeply affected by the current Coronavirus crisis. It is easy to get caught up in fear, particularly fear of the unknown. We don’t have a road map for this crisis let alone know if this will be a short trip or a long journey.

As someone who studies leadership and helps women to clarify who they are as a leader, I have given much thought in the last week or so on how effective leaders could and should respond to this situation.

I keep coming back to the distinction between opportunities and threats. Many of us are familiar with and have taken part in a SWOT analysis. SWOT stands for Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities and Threats. Often at the beginning of a strategic planning process, organizational members identify items and issues under each category.

Strengths and Weaknesses are things typically internal to an organization; Opportunities and Threats are external concerns. More specifically, opportunities refer to favorable external factors that could give an organization a competitive advantage. Threats are factors that have the potential to harm an organization.

The Coronavirus is a threat to associations that are forced to cancel in-person meetings and conferences. For small associations, cancelling an annual conference is particulary problematic. The loss of revenue due to a cancelled conference could result in job layoffs or even put the existence of the association in jeopardy.

This harsh reality can effect dramatically the morale and productivity of association members, board and staff. What can association leaders do to positively re-focus energies and efforts? It is helpful to turn to another way to frame current challenges.

Proponents of Appreciative Inquiry recommend conducting a SOAR rather than a SWAT analysis. With SOAR, the focus is on the organization and enhancing what is currently done well, rather than concentrating on perceived threats and/or weaknesses. When conducting a SOAR analysis, the basic questions to be answered are:

• What are our greatest strengths?

• What are our best opportunities?

• What is our preferred future?

• What are the measurable results that will tell us we’ve achieved that vision of the future?

An association may use this time to ask:

• How can we diversify our revenue streams?

• How can we deliver our annual conference experience other than in-person?

• What new programs and services can we develop for our members?

• What brighter future do we envision for our association after the crisis passes?

Effective leaders acknowledge people’s concerns without enabling fear based decision-making. They listen with compassion and possibility. They channel energy into action-the antidote for fear. They communicate “this is a difficult time AND we will persist”.

This is a diffcult time AND we will persist.

How To Be More Confident: Authenticity and One Small Brave Thing

We all know the common saying, “Fake it until you make it.” Often this saying is given as well meaning advice to others when facing something scary or nerve-racking. We told to hide how we are feeling and act “as if”. In certain specific settings, this may be an effective approach. However, I argue that this is not an effective long-term strategy. We are our most powerful when we act as our authentic selves and express our authentic emotions and thoughts.

How does this apply to confidence? Let’s turn to one of the best books written in the last few years on the subject. In The Confidence Code: The Science and Art of Self-Assurance - What Women Should Know, Katty Kay and Claire Shipman review and summarize the best research on the nature of confidence and how women can have more. They also interview world renowned and respected women leaders. They come to the conclusion that confidence comes down to two things - authenticity and action:

The appeal of faking it, if only for a while, is that is offers a crutch - a way to begin. Here’s a better way to reframe the premise for a quick confidence jump-start: Don’t pretend to be anything or anyone - simply take action. Do one small brave thing, and then the next one will be easier, and soon confidence will flow. We know - fake it till you make it sounds catcher - but this actually works. (pg. 165).

So what is the alternative to faking it? If we are going to lead with our authentic selves, what does that look like? Part of the answer is allowing others to know our genuine thoughts and feelings. If we are constantly hiding what we are thinking and feeling, we are always on guard to being “found out”. This is not leading from a place of strength. Allowing ourselves to be vulnerable enables us to lead from strength. Brene Brown has written extensively about expressing vulnerability, specificially how it relates to leadership in her book Daring To Lead. For the purposes of our discussion here, I will highlight an important distinction about vulnerability and confidence from Kay and Shipman:

Expressing some vulnerability can be a strength, especially when it connects you to others. Dwelling on insecurities, and basking in self-doubt is not. Reviewing your decisions with an eye to improvement is a strength, as is admiting mistakes. Ruminating for days over decisions already made or those to come has nothing to do with the confidence we envision. (pg. 196).

Admitting to a colleague that you are nervous before giving a presentation is a sign of confidence; second-guessing your performance for days afterward is not.

Embrace your unique purpose, power and presence, share them with others and take small, brave actions. What can you do today?

Questions for Reflection

• How do you define confidence for yourself? How well do you accept Kay and Shipman’s definition?

• When was the last time you felt really confident? What were you doing? What were you feeling? What were you thinking?

• What is one small brave thing you can do today?

One Big Thing for Leading At Your Best

It has been a long time since I read something and responded with a big “Woo Hoo!”. My office mates must have heard the “Woo Hoo” after I finished reading “Be yourself, and trust that that’s enough”. The article is a summary of an interview with Kate Lewis, chief content officer for Hearst Magazines for the Politico Women Rule podcast. In the interview, Kate discusses feeling pressure to hide her real personality out of concern she wouldn’t be taken seriously.

“In the magazine industry, there are a lot of—there’s an image, right, that you need to be a high-fashion person, that you need to have been a journalist in the trenches,” said Lewis, the chief content officer for Hearst Magazines. As a young, ambitious woman, she emulated them—thinking doing so was key to her thriving in the notoriously fast-paced New York publishing world.

However, she had an important moment of insight. She realized she would be a more effective leader if she was herself.

“I found my success when I became who I am. And that’s hard,” Lewis said during an interview for POLITICO’s Women Rule podcast. “I became comfortable with just being Kate. And that enabled me to have more candid, more deep, more real conversations with the people who were either going to hire me or were going to manage me or who I was going to work with. And I think that has made me more successful.”

Please allow me to highlight the first sentance of this quote - “I found my success when I became who I am. And that’s hard.” Kate is describing Courageous Authenticity™. I define Courageous Authenticity™ as embracing your unique Purpose, Power and Presence.

It is:

• leading at your best as your best self

• allowing yourself to be fully seen and heard

• being the same authentic person in all of your life domains

• using best practices of effective leadership

“And that’s hard”. Why is it hard? Why do I use the term Courageous Authenticity? As Kate described, there is pressure to behave in a way that is in alignment with the culture of the organization and/or industry. Effective leaders are fully aware of organizational and industry cultures. It is counter productive to ignore these cultures. The pressure to conform to cultures is strong; I argue it is particularly strong for women. What Kate has done successfully is find a way to be her best self within her industry culture.

“I became comfortable with just being Kate. And that enabled me to have more candid, more deep, more real conversations with the people who were either going to hire me or were going to manage me or who I was going to work with. And I think that has made me more successful.”

Questions for Reflection:

• What have you noticed about your organization/industry culture?

• How big is the gap between your authentic self and this culture?

• How comfortable are you with just being you?

• What changes could you make to start leading at your best with Courageous Authenticity™?

• What concerns do you have about making these changes?

Want a Better Work-Life? Stop Calling It Work-Life.

Today I pledge to stop using the term “work-life”. Isn’t work a part of life? How did we allow work to have equal footing with the rest of life? We have the tendency to separate ourselves into two - our work selves and our non-work selves. I can’t count the number of times I have heard colleagues say that they are different people at work vs. at home. Also, we have all witnessed (and probably tried to do it ourselves) co-workers twist themselves into knots to keep their “life” out of their work “life.” Women in particular face this challenge most acutely.

Stewart Friedman and the Wharton Work/Life Integration Project have done groundbreaking research that shows us that work-life balance doesn’t work. Dr. Friedman and his colleagues use the term “work-life integration.” They contend we are most effective as leaders when we integrate our life domains - self, work, home and community. We do this by identifying our core values and priorities and organizing all life domains around them. Dr. Friedman does a much more thorough job of explaining his model in Total Leadership. I highly recommend it.

But, Dr. Friedman still uses the term “work-life”. Shouldn’t it just be life? Can’t we say we organize our life around our core values and make decisions based on those values? The values we practice at home are the same as the values we have at work - and for ourselves - and for our community. How is our attitude shifted when we realize that work is a part of life instead of a separate entity?

To give an example, let’s say you highly value wellness. Dr. Friedman’s model advises to make wellness a priority in all of your life domains. How could you honor your commitment to wellness at work? For yourself? With your family? In your community? By practicing wellness in all life domains, you are energized and avoid wasting time on actions that are not consistent with this value. This frees up emotional, mental and physical energy to be a more effective leader because you are being real and whole.

Questions for reflection:

Instead of “work-life”, think about “life”. How does this shift your thinking?

What resistance are you encountering by making “work” an equal life domain with self, home and community?

What shifts could you make - in your thinking and actions - that honor all of your life domains?

How to Be Fully Seen and Heard: Thank Your Voice in the Head

The first line Dan Harris’ book, 10% Happier: How I Tamed the Voice in the Head, Reduced Stress Without Losing My Edge, and Found a Self-Help That Actually Works, is, “The voice in the head is an asshole.” In this line, Dan is addressing the voice that all of us hear from time to time. It is the voice that tells us to not speak an unpopular opinion. It is the voice that tells us that we won’t be taken seriously. It is the voice that whispers, “Who do you think you are?”. It is the voice that claims, “You are not enough”.

Readers of Brene Brown’s work know that this voice comes from shame - a belief that you are not enough. Brene’s TED talk on The Power of Vulnerability has been watched almost 43 million times. Her research indicates that shame is the main emotion that prevents us from having the courage to be fully seen and heard; to allow ourselves to be vulnerable. By giving into the voice in the head, we don’t take risks that could help us increase our influence and transform our organizations.

What should do we do with the voice in the head? We should thank it. We developed the voice in the head as a way of protecting ourselves. It tells to hold back so that we don’t get hurt, criticized or embarrassed. It tells us to stay safe. Unfortunately, it is also telling us we are not strong enough to handle the hurt, criticism and embarrassment. Again to borrow from Brene Brown (who borrowed the term from Theodore Roosevelt), having the courage to be fully seen and heard is like entering the arena. By entering the arena, you may be “marred by sweat and dust and blood.”. It is the fear that we can’t handle this experience is what keeps us from entering the arena. The voice in the head wants to prevent us from entering the arena door.

So why would we thank the voice in the head? I differ a little bit from Dan Harris on this. The voice in the head can certainly sound like an asshole or a bully. It is telling us we are not good enough; stay in your place and not be noticed. In a misguided way, the voice in the head is trying to protect us. Instead of fighting with the voice (which has a tendency to make it stronger next time), what if we thanked it and showed it and us, some compassion? What would happen if the next time you heard the voice in the head, you thanked it for trying to protect you and told it that you didn’t need it anymore? What if we started believing that we are strong enough? The antidote for fear is action; the more we allow ourselves to be vulnerable, the more we learn we can handle it.

Some questions for reflection:

• How do you know when you hear the voice in the head? What does it sound like? How do you feel?

• Under what kinds of circumstances do you hear the voice most often?

• What strategies could you use to address the voice with compassion and understanding?

• How can you change your behavior after hearing the voice?

• Think about examples in which you entered the arena and were “marred by sweat and dust and blood.” What helped you recover? What did you learn from the experience?

You Have The Power: Influencing Your Organization's Culture

Our country just had two more mass shootings - in El Paso and Dayton. This is not a political or policy blog, so I wll not get into those areas. However, much has been discussed in the media prior to and after these events about the effect of a leader’s tone and words on the actions of others.

Leaders have tremendous influence on the culture, priorities and actions in their organizations. They communicate what is permissible and not based on their words and actions. Organization members who want to belong and get along will often mirror the words and actions of the leader in order to remain a part of the group. A feedback loop is created that perpetuates the culture so that it is reinforced.

There are numerous examples from history of the power of leaders to influence their follower’s actions and words. Too often, we look these examples and shake our heads and wonder, “How could that happen? How could people behave like that?”. Leaders can choose to use this influence for positive or negative outcomes. We know Dr. King and Gandhi; we also know Hitler and Stalin. I hesitate to use the term “leader” in the context of Hitler and Stalin. I believe true leaders inspire a shared vision and lead others toward making positive change.

You may not lead a country or even a large organization, but you have great influence over the words and actions of your followers. Do not underestimate the power your have to inspire positive change. Some questions to get you thinking and reflecting on your influence as a leader:

• How well do your words and actions align with your values and priorities?

• What are you trying to accomplish with your words and actions?

• What do you notice about the influence you have in your organization?

• How well are your words and actions consistent?

• What shifts can you make in your words and actions that will affect the change you desire?

Let me know what you think!

Women leaders: 3 Steps to Increasing Your Influence

Effective leaders inspire others around a shared vision, challenge the status quo and affect positive change. In other words, they transform their organizations. In order to foster this transformation, leaders must have influence with their teams and stakeholders. They must be fully seen and heard.

Leadership is gender neutral - there is not a male or female version. However, as a society, we often apply gender attributes to our collective images of how leaders are supposed to act. We see this as women run for office or become CEO’s. We hear comments like, “She doesn't look like a leader”. Due to socialization, we are often unaware of our biases when we think about “leaders”. In addition, women can feel pressure to conform to these biases and behave in ways that may not be authentic.

Personally speaking, I have received advice to both speak up at meetings and not talk so much - sometimes in the same day. When we enter an organization, we quickly learn the spoken and unspoken rules and norms of behavior. Women are under more pressure to conform to organizational cultures and are more quickly criticized for not “going along”.

Increasing Your Influence by Leading with Courageous Authenticity™

So, how can women increase their influence as a leader while dealing with challenges from societal pressures and sexism? I argue women are at their strongest and most influential when they lead with Courageous Authenticity™. A few years ago, I attended a women’s leadership conference. There was a panel of accomplished executive women discussing their leadership journey. To a women, each one told stories of coming into her own as a leader. The overriding theme of the stories was “be who you are, embrace your best self, stop being so concerned what others think.” One women in particular said she knew she had arrived as a leader when she stopped trying to act like others and focused on being fully herself. She talked about the courage it took to be fully authentic.

So, how can we practice Courageous Authenticity™? Here are the three steps:

Clarify Your Purpose

What gets you out of bed in the morning? What do you find most meaningful? What is your “why”? How clear are you about your priorities? How well are your priorities in alignment with your organization?

Embrace Your Power

What are your signature strengths? What unique skills, talents and experiences do you bring to your organization? What activities give you energy? How do you know you are acting and being your best self?

Strengthen Your Leadership Presence

How well do you communicate your purpose and power? How do your actions align with your purpose and power? How well do you walk your walk and talk your talk? Are you fully seen and heard? How often do your colleagues experience you as your best self?

When you take these three steps and do your best to practice the behaviors of effective leadership, you are in a much more powerful position to have the influence to transform your organization. What can you get started on today?