Want a Better Work-Life? Stop Calling It Work-Life.

Today I pledge to stop using the term “work-life”. Isn’t work a part of life? How did we allow work to have equal footing with the rest of life? We have the tendency to separate ourselves into two - our work selves and our non-work selves. I can’t count the number of times I have heard colleagues say that they are different people at work vs. at home. Also, we have all witnessed (and probably tried to do it ourselves) co-workers twist themselves into knots to keep their “life” out of their work “life.” Women in particular face this challenge most acutely.

Stewart Friedman and the Wharton Work/Life Integration Project have done groundbreaking research that shows us that work-life balance doesn’t work. Dr. Friedman and his colleagues use the term “work-life integration.” They contend we are most effective as leaders when we integrate our life domains - self, work, home and community. We do this by identifying our core values and priorities and organizing all life domains around them. Dr. Friedman does a much more thorough job of explaining his model in Total Leadership. I highly recommend it.

But, Dr. Friedman still uses the term “work-life”. Shouldn’t it just be life? Can’t we say we organize our life around our core values and make decisions based on those values? The values we practice at home are the same as the values we have at work - and for ourselves - and for our community. How is our attitude shifted when we realize that work is a part of life instead of a separate entity?

To give an example, let’s say you highly value wellness. Dr. Friedman’s model advises to make wellness a priority in all of your life domains. How could you honor your commitment to wellness at work? For yourself? With your family? In your community? By practicing wellness in all life domains, you are energized and avoid wasting time on actions that are not consistent with this value. This frees up emotional, mental and physical energy to be a more effective leader because you are being real and whole.

Questions for reflection:

Instead of “work-life”, think about “life”. How does this shift your thinking?

What resistance are you encountering by making “work” an equal life domain with self, home and community?

What shifts could you make - in your thinking and actions - that honor all of your life domains?