I bet you have heard the saying, "That's my story and I am sticking to it." In this post, What would happen if we start not sticking to our stories?
Ask most professional coaches and they will tell you they have a favorite question they ask clients. Mine is, "What story are you telling yourself?". I love this question because change is often derailed because we haven't thoroughly examined the thoughts and beliefs we hold that drive our behavior. For example, a woman stays up half of the night cleaning her house leaving her short on sleep the next day. What is the story she is tellng herself? Among the many possibilities may be that she believes a good mother provides her family with a clean home. If she leaves her home in a state she believes is inappropriate, that then means she is not a good mother. There is a lot to unpack here.
If she is able to uncover the story, "A good mother has a clean home" she would then be able to examine her beliefs around her definition of a good mother. She may find that other aspects of that role are much more important to her than keeping a clean home (the definition of which may also be examined).
The next time you find yourself stuck in a behavior they may not be serving you well, ask yourself, "What is the story I am telling myself?" and then get curious without judgment about the answer.